Many parents are aware of the importance of self esteem for their children.

Because of this they will want to be sure that they help their children build their self esteem.

If you are parent and would like some pointers on the best way to ensure your child has high self esteem then I recommend that you focus of the following areas.

Ensure they feel loved

You should achieve this by many little acts and gestures everyday, rather than the occasional grand statement or expensive gift. In particular it is important to listen to what your child has to say and take their feeling seriously. On occasion this will take time. But if you spend this time the message your child will receive is that they are important and what they feel or have to say is important. This will grow their self esteem.

You can build on this by letting them make certain decisions in their life. Let them choose what to have for dinner or which film to go and see occasionally. This is show them that their decisions are as good as anyone else’s.

Make them feel capable

As you child grows they, and you, will begin to realise that there are certain activities that they have a special interest in or a special talent for. Be aware of this process. If at first nothing seems to ‘chime’ with you child don’t fret. Remain relaxed and open them up to other sports or activities until something clicks with them.

Once you have found their interest then encourage and support them as much as they want in the pursuit. A word of caution though, do not push too hard. Keep things relaxed and let your child develop their interest at their own pace.

Be their teacher (not their slave or their slave driver)

You will be build your childs self esteem if you help them learn and accomplish things. Don’t be tempted to do things for them and never push them too hard. But try to teach them like the best teacher you had at school.

Be specific  in your praise

It is important to give praise, but your children are not daft. They can spot bland generic praise when they hear it. You should avoid this as over time it will just sound like you are palming them off. Instead make you praise specific to something they have achieved. This will feel more real to them and they will receive a big boost to their self esteem.

Sometimes feeling bad is OK

If you child has behaved badly then they should feel bad for a while. This will make them want to put right what they made wrong. The process of feeling bad about such actions is the first step of accepting the situation and going onto resolve it. The good feelings that will come from resolving this problem will be in stark contrast to how they felt earlier, and will help to build their self worth and a felling that they can resolve difficult situations.

Lead by Example

Make sure you take responsibility for your own self esteem as well. You children will be watching how you respond in similar situations. If they see you tackle difficult situations head on and resolve them it will leave them with the valuable lesson that they too can resolves the problems that they come across in life.