Forming Relationships

A few years ago a young lady called Aretha sang the following words;

Respect yourself, respect yourself

If you don’t respect yourself

Ain’t nobody gonna give a good cahoot, na na na na

Respect yourself, respect yourself

If you want advice on how low self esteem can help you in forming relationships, then start with the principles behind these words. To put it quite simply, if you don’t respect yourself or think yourself worthy of being in a relationship with someone, then things are not going to work out well.

If your put yourself down, focus on your negatives, tell a tale of how hard your life is etc then you may find some people will be sympathetic to your plight and try to help you. Their kindness is not necessarily a sign that you are moving towards a stable relationship, it simple shows they are a kind person.

If you want to form a good strong relationship, then you are much more likely to achieve that if you respect yourself and show your potential partner some positivity. There is nothing more attractive than someone comfortable in their own skin. By this we mean someone who knows they are good person, knows what they are good at and is cool about what they are not so good at.

So work on being comfortable in your own skin. You don’t have to be the best looking or have the best body to find a loving happy relationship. Good looking, fit people become a little dull and tiresome if that is all there is to them.

People who are comfortable in their own skin are always fun to be with. Anyone can be comfortable in their own skin if the work on raising thier self esteem.

Dealing with Self Esteem Issues after a relationship breakdown

If you suffer a broken relationship, it can hit you hard….your self esteem will take a battering. If it has just happened to you then there is little I or anyone can do to make all OK again. But if you are in that position you need to know that no matter what has happened, the quickest way to move forward is to not let it have a negative effect the way you view yourself.

Probably the best way to mend your broken heart is to be a philosopher and a realist. Take a few deep breaths and become an observer. Watch your reactions. Think of the freedom from anxiety you now enjoy. Your happiness no longer depends on the actions of another person. Sometimes, thinking of the bad habits your partner had works well.

It’s important to avoid taking the rejection from another to heart,  and thinking you are unattractive or unable to inspire love. These feelings can make you feel like you’ll never find anyone to love again and can lead to depression.

If you feel this way, remember that your worth is not measured by what someone thinks of you! You’re an awesome, unique person in your own right and you don’t require another person to validate your God-Given gifts and talents. So remember: the loss is theirs for rejecting you!

What the heart has once owned and had, it shall never lose.

HENRY WARD BEECHER

Ways to restore you Self esteem and move on.

As soon as you can you should get on with your life and start to focus on its good aspects, what you are good at, your friends and family who love you. By experiencing the positive emotions that come from such activities you will start to pump up your self esteem again.

There are a number of practical things you can also do that will help this process. I am not suggesting that all these options will be right for you. Do the ones that seem tight for you, and you will get a boost.

1. Clean the house - Get rid of your ex’s things. As you clean, clean away the anger and pain, and don’t let it come back.
2. Rediscover your hobbies and favorite activities - Celebrate the fact that you have time to do these enjoyable activities. Keep yourself busy with things you like to do and realize you don’t need to depend on anyone else for your enjoyment.
3. Start an exercise routine - Exercise releases “happy” hormones and will make you healthy and trim.
4. Spend some time with your friends - Talking to them about your break up may help lighten the heaviness you feel. Ask them about their lives. Shift the focus from you to them.
5. Forgive your ex - Or forgive yourself if you blame yourself for the breakup. Forgiveness is essential if you want to move on to healthy relationships in the future. It is essential even if you plan to remain single, because resentment and anger are negative emotions that will eat into your happiness.
6. Be thankful for the relationship and grateful for the love you shared – It was necessary for your self-development or you wouldn’t have encountered it. Identify the lessons you’ve learned because of it and move on.
7. Find a spiritual path –  Use the time alone to focus on your inner self. Most of us are too busy nurturing our physical selves to think of our eternal spiritual selves.
8. Get a pet – Dogs are the ultimate stress busters. When you’re aching for a hug, hug your dog. They’ll love you unconditionally and will always welcome you back even if you’ve been away for just five minutes.